Blockbuster trade: Brittney Griner traded for all-star Russian arms dealer

by: Wokelish
Dec. 09, 2022
Source: Wokelish.com
12/09/2022

Basketball by Markus Spiske is licensed under Unsplash unsplash.com

Washington, DC - In a shocking sports news story, the White House announced that all-star center for the Phoenix Mercury, Brittney Griner was traded for a hall-of-fame Russian weapons dealer, Viktor Bout.

Griner’s 2021 stats in the WNBA: averaged 20 points, 9.5 rebounds, 3 assists, and half a steal per game.

Viktor Bout’s stats as an arms dealer: trafficked weapons for wars ranging from Africa to the Balkans, dubbed the “Merchant of Death” for his crimes, and inspired the 2008 Nicolas Cage film Lord of War.

Clearly the U.S. won this trade deal. We got an inspirational sports star with dozens of fans, and Russia received the most notorious arms dealer in the world.

The U.S. Marine who was left behind in the trade deal, Paul Whelan, was overheard dribbling basketballs in an attempt to get the Biden administration to possibly trade him in the future.

This content is a work of satire and parody. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Any opinions expressed in this content do not reflect the views of the author or publisher. In fact, they probably reflect the opposite of the views of the author or publisher. The purpose of this content is to entertain and possibly make you question the reality of the world around you. So please, don't take anything too seriously, unless it's the importance of a good laugh.