In a plot straight out of a cartoon villain's playbook, President Biden has reportedly set his sights on a new target: the moon. Taking a page from the notorious supervillain Gru, Biden is allegedly hatching a scheme to steal Earth's only natural satellite, with a little help from his minions—err, I mean, the immigrants he's letting in.
In a leaked memo obtained from an undisclosed source within the White House, Biden's plan unfolds like a scene from a children's movie gone wrong. The memo outlines a series of steps reminiscent of Gru's antics in the "Despicable Me" franchise, complete with quirky gadgets, slapstick humor, and an army of bumbling helpers.
Step 1: "Operation Lunar Heist"
Under the guise of a NASA initiative, Biden will launch "Operation Lunar Heist," a top-secret mission to procure the moon for undisclosed purposes. With the help of his trusty sidekick, Kamala Harris, Biden will oversee the construction of a gigantic rocket dubbed the "Moon-Mover 3000," capable of transporting the moon back to Earth.
Step 2: Recruiting Minions—I Mean, Immigrants
To carry out the daring heist, Biden will enlist the aid of his most loyal followers: the immigrants he's letting into the country. With promises of citizenship and a chance at the American dream, Biden's minions—sorry, immigrants—will eagerly join his ranks, blissfully unaware of the true nature of their mission.
Step 3: Moon Preparation and Transportation
Once assembled, Biden's army of minions will begin the meticulous task of preparing the moon for transport. Armed with shovels, pickaxes, and a can-do attitude, they'll set to work digging up the lunar surface and loading it onto the Moon-Mover 3000. Meanwhile, Biden will don his best Gru impression, complete with an oversized scarf and a maniacal laugh, as he supervises the operation from the comfort of the Oval Office.
Step 4: The Great Lunar Heist
With the moon securely tethered to the Moon-Mover 3000, Biden will give the signal for lift-off. As the rocket blasts off into space, carrying Earth's beloved satellite in tow, chaos ensues. Astronomers worldwide are left scratching their heads, while conspiracy theorists speculate wildly about the president's intentions. Is it a bid for world domination? A desperate attempt to impress his grandkids? Only time will tell.
In a statement issued by the White House, Biden dismisses allegations of villainy, insisting that the moon heist is merely a "pet project" aimed at advancing scientific knowledge and fostering international cooperation. Critics, however, remain skeptical, pointing to Biden's uncanny resemblance to Gru and the suspicious influx of immigrants with a penchant for yellow jumpsuits.
As the world watches with bated breath, one thing is clear: when it comes to presidential antics, truth is often stranger than fiction. And if Biden's moon heist succeeds, we may soon find ourselves living in a world where the line between reality and cartoonish absurdity is thinner than ever before.
