In a move that has left both allies and adversaries scratching their heads, President Joe Biden has unveiled his groundbreaking new approach to international diplomacy: rock, paper, scissors. In a press conference held yesterday, Biden confidently announced, "Sometimes, when the stakes are high and the decisions are tough, you just gotta let fate decide. It's the American way."
The decision-making process, which reportedly involves Biden facing off against world leaders in intense games of rock, paper, scissors, is already drawing mixed reactions from around the globe.
Critics have slammed the strategy as reckless and absurd, arguing that it reduces complex geopolitical decisions to mere chance. Republican Senator John Doe went on record saying, "This is no way to run a country. We need strong leadership, not games of chance. What's next, flipping a coin to decide economic policy?"
Meanwhile, supporters of the president have praised his innovative approach, claiming that it injects an element of unpredictability into international relations. "It's refreshing to see a leader who's willing to think outside the box," remarked one Biden enthusiast on Twitter. "Who knows, maybe rock beats nuclear proliferation."
The first test of Biden's rock, paper, scissors diplomacy came during a tense standoff with North Korea over its nuclear program. In a highly publicized match against Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un, Biden emerged victorious with a decisive rock over scissors. The outcome reportedly left Kim fuming, though he later issued a statement expressing his respect for Biden's "unconventional tactics."
But not everyone is convinced of the efficacy of Biden's approach. Russian President Vladimir Putin, known for his steely resolve and strategic cunning, scoffed at the idea of settling disputes through childish games. "I will not dignify such absurdity with a response," Putin declared in a terse statement to the press.
Despite the skepticism, Biden shows no signs of backing down from his rock, paper, scissors strategy. In fact, sources within the White House suggest that the president is already preparing for his next match, this time against Chinese President Xi Jinping over trade tariffs.
As the world watches with bated breath, one thing is clear: the game of international politics has taken an unexpected turn, and nobody knows what the next move will be. So grab your rocks, sharpen your scissors, and stock up on paper - it's shaping up to be a wild ride.
