In a stunning display of presidential leadership, Joe Biden has announced that he plans to solve all the world's problems by walking on the beach.
"I've been walking on the beach for years," Biden said in a speech on Monday. "And I've come to realize that there's nothing that a good long walk can't fix."
The president went on to list some of the specific problems that he plans to solve with his beach walks:
- Climate change: "Just the other day, I was walking on the beach and I saw a seal swimming in the ocean," Biden said. "And I thought to myself, 'That seal is not worried about climate change. Why should I be?'"
- The war in Ukraine: "I've been talking to Putin on the phone every day," Biden said. "And I finally convinced him to end the war. He said all he needed was a little time to think about it. And what better place to think than on the beach?"
- The economy: "I know a lot of people are worried about the economy," Biden said. "But trust me, it's going to be okay. I'm going to walk on the beach and come up with a plan to fix it. And while I'm doing that, I'm going to get a tan too."
Biden's plan has been met with mixed reactions. Some people have praised him for his creativity and his commitment to solving the world's problems. Others have criticized him for being unrealistic and for not taking his job seriously.
"I think it's great that the president is so committed to solving the world's problems," said one supporter. "But I'm not sure that walking on the beach is the best way to do it."
"This is just another example of Biden's incompetence," said one critic. "He's the worst president we've ever had."
Despite the criticism, Biden appears to be determined to go ahead with his plan. He has already booked a weeklong vacation to Rehoboth Beach, Delaware, where he plans to spend his days walking on the sand and coming up with solutions to the world's most pressing problems.
"I'm confident that if I just walk on the beach long enough, I can solve all the world's problems," Biden said. "And if I don't, well, at least I'll have a tan."
