In a shocking turn of events, President Joe Biden has confessed to a grand deception that has left the nation reeling. In a hastily called press conference, the President revealed that he does not, in fact, suffer from dementia, as many have speculated. Instead, he admitted to a cunning agreement crafted to keep the American public on their toes.
"Surprise, America! You've been punked!" exclaimed Biden, chuckling mischievously as he addressed the stunned reporters gathered in the White House briefing room. "Turns out, I've been pulling the wool over your eyes this whole time. But hey, it's all in good fun, right?"
The revelation comes after months of speculation and concern over Biden's mental acuity. Critics have pointed to various gaffes and moments of apparent forgetfulness as evidence of cognitive decline. However, according to Biden, it was all part of an elaborate ruse cooked up by him and a few close advisors.
"We were sitting around one day, brainstorming ways to spice up my presidency," Biden explained. "And someone suggested, 'Hey, why not pretend you have dementia?' And I thought, 'Genius!' So, we ran with it."
The President went on to detail how he and his team meticulously planned each slip-up and "senior moment" to keep the charade going. From forgetting names to meandering tangents in speeches, every aspect of Biden's supposed decline was carefully choreographed.
"It was like living in a real-life episode of 'The Twilight Zone'," remarked one staffer, who spoke on condition of anonymity. "We'd be in meetings, and Joe would start rambling about corn pop or something, and we'd all just try to keep a straight face. It was surreal."
The confession has sparked outrage and disbelief across the political spectrum. Critics have accused Biden of betraying the trust of the American people and undermining confidence in the presidency.
"This is beyond irresponsible—it's downright dangerous," declared one Republican lawmaker. "For the President of the United States to play games with something as serious as dementia is reprehensible. He owes the American people an apology."
Meanwhile, supporters of the President have been left grappling with the implications of Biden's admission. Many have expressed a sense of betrayal, wondering what other secrets their leader might be hiding.
"I voted for Joe because I thought he was a straight shooter," lamented one disillusioned voter. "But now it feels like everything's been a lie. How can we trust anything he says?"
In response to the backlash, the White House has sought to downplay the significance of Biden's deception, insisting that it was all in good fun.
"Look, the President was just trying to inject a little levity into an otherwise serious job," remarked Press Secretary Jen Psaki. "He never meant to deceive anyone. Let's all just take a deep breath and have a laugh, shall we?"
As the dust begins to settle on this bombshell revelation, one thing remains clear: the Biden presidency will never be the same. Whether this admission will have lasting repercussions for the administration remains to be seen. But for now, one thing is certain: America has been well and truly pranked.
