Area man already skipping his fancy coffee in the mornings, unsure of how else to save money in this economy

Austin, TX - A local man made the news after he loudly announced that he would be skipping his “fancy morning coffee from Starbucks” in an effort to save more money and survive the historic inflation facing everyday Americans. After about a week of doing so, the area man said that he had, “little to no savings” because he had previously relied on breakfast meals consisting of eggs and bacon for the past three years. 

“I just don’t get it, I always thought of a hearty breakfast of bacon and eggs as a fairly cheap meal alternative to buying a bagel and a fancy coffee in the mornings,” said the man as he reflected on the outrageous cost of eggs at his local grocery store. 

“I mean, you try to save money, don’t order pizza to the house, cook your own meals, turn off all the electronics in the house before 9pm, don’t run the A/C in the summer and the heat in the winter, and none of it seems to make any difference.” At publishing time the man was seen trying to squeeze the ethanol out of several bushels of corn in an attempt to replace the gasoline in his car with a more economical fuel source.

This content is a work of satire and parody. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Any opinions expressed in this content do not reflect the views of the author or publisher. In fact, they probably reflect the opposite of the views of the author or publisher. The purpose of this content is to entertain and possibly make you question the reality of the world around you. So please, don't take anything too seriously, unless it's the importance of a good laugh.

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