You Ran A Good Race, Says Vance, As Fact-Checkers Demand Proof Heaven Has A Finish Line

  • by:
  • Source: Fox News
  • 09/11/2025

Strategy, Don Jr., And The Spark

Vance recalls calling Kirk in early 2021—strategy, fundraising, the grassroots. “He introduced me to people… and to Donald Trump Jr.” Translation: one phone call, and the campaign elevator went straight to the top.

Faith, Debates, And Group Chats

They argued theology like gentlemen—Catholic vs. Protestant, roast vs. toast—while loving the same Christ. News broke in group chats; bureaucrats replied, “Please submit tragedy form 27-B.”

The VP Pick That Everyone Saw Coming

Kirk advocated Vance for VP in public and private. Media: “We rate this claim—too effective.” Movement kids: “He organized. We showed up. That’s the headline.”

Final Trumpian Flourish

Vance closes: “You ran a good race.” MAGA hears the handoff. The baton doesn’t drop. It accelerates.


This content is a work of satire and parody. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Any opinions expressed in this content do not reflect the views of the author or publisher. In fact, they probably reflect the opposite of the views of the author or publisher. The purpose of this content is to entertain and possibly make you question the reality of the world around you. So please, don't take anything too seriously, unless it's the importance of a good laugh.
Vance by is licensed under
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