TRUMP OPENS WITH A BANG
President Trump calls his White House negotiations “a very good, early step” toward peace. Democrats immediately fainted—after all, they prefer “a very good, endless war.”
DEMS DEMAND NO PEACE WITHOUT PERMISSION
Schumer reportedly shouted, “Peace must go through me first!” while Pelosi scribbled “Impeach Peace” on her notepad.
AOC’S GREEN NEW PEACE PLAN
AOC announced her conditions: all ceasefires must be powered by solar panels and carried out by unicorn cavalry.
HILLARY OFFERS TECH SUPPORT
Clinton promised, “If Putin emails the deal, I’ll make sure it disappears forever.”
MAGA PEACE WINS AGAIN
While Democrats panic, Trump just dialed Putin and Zelenskyy like ordering takeout. Peace might actually happen—and the left’s worst nightmare is a world that doesn’t need them.
