LIBERALS PANIC AS AMERICA STARTS WINNING
Democrats fainted upon hearing Trump defend tariffs, clutching their NPR mugs like holy relics. “Tariffs? That’s economic violence!” cried Elizabeth Warren, moments before placing a $1,200 iPhone order—made in China, naturally.
COURT OF ECONOMIC CLOWNS?
Even with six conservatives and three Trump-appointed justices, the Supreme Court still manages to wobble like Biden on a staircase. The President joked that his own Court might “rule for China by accident.” Justice Sotomayor, meanwhile, was reportedly spotted scrolling TikTok for “economic insight,” while Chief Justice Roberts practiced his signature move—folding faster than a cheap lawn chair at a Bernie rally.
GLOBALISTS FEAR SELF-RELIANCE
The left claims tariffs are “bad for consumers.” Translation: it’s harder to buy cheap plastic flags that say “Made In China.” CNN warned tariffs could “spark trade wars,” because apparently, America fighting back is “war,” but China stealing jobs is “peace.”
MAGA FOREVER, TAXES NEVER
Trump’s tariffs build factories, jobs, and pride. Democrats build PowerPoints, debt, and despair. If the Court kills tariffs, don’t worry—Trump will resurrect them, probably stronger and shinier than ever.
