Trump bangs the table: “Receipts. Now.” The CDC hunts a password last updated in 2020.
The Numbers They Only Show Trump
He says drug makers showed him “GREAT numbers” they won’t show the public—then hand a PDF titled “Believe.” Footnote: “See undisclosed appendix.”
CDC Statement Pending, Forever
“The science is settled pending further settlement,” says a CDC lifer, sketching a flowchart that ends in “TBD.”
Bernie’s Emergency Tweet
“Stick with the scientists,” Bernie blusters. “Vaccines ended everything ever,” he adds, adjusting the Senate’s priciest mittens.
MAGA Receipt Season
Trump: “If Warp Speed was brilliant, prove it. If not, why?” Publish the numbers, clear the fog, let America win.
