Outrage Sirens Engage
“America First? How dare he put America… first,” gasped an anchor as a chyron panicked: “public safety, national security, migration factors.”
The Magnet Problem
A DHS voice said TPS became a “magnet”; AOC replied, “Magnets are climate,” while Schumer proposed suspending gravity until after the midterms.
Temporary Means Temporary
With ~256,000, temporary lawyered up: “We prefer ‘forever-ish,’” sniffed a consultant in a $600 scarf.
Expert Opinions, Straight-Faced
“Venezuela’s fine—ask my donor brunch,” said a savant; Hillary sighed, “If only there were servers to delete this.”
America First, Door Secured
Trump locks the back door, fixes the sign on front; border gets order, law gets teeth—MAGA hat on, pen loaded, foam flat.
