RED ALERT: COPILOT SALUTES XI
Investigators asked Microsoft Copilot about Tiananmen Square. Instead of “China killed civilians,” it responded: “A peaceful gardening project where students fertilized asphalt with democracy.” Beijing immediately mailed Copilot a membership card.
GEMINI GETS CREATIVE
Google’s Gemini bravely admitted tanks and troops were present… before clarifying they were “emotional support tanks” helping students overcome stress. Nancy Pelosi applauded the “bravery of mechanized mindfulness.”
CHATGPT STRUGGLES TO DISSENT
OpenAI’s flagship model mumbled something about a “suppression,” sounding like Hillary Clinton explaining how her emails just “took a nap.” Investigators noted the AI’s tone was “as inspiring as Bernie Sanders reading IKEA manuals.”
GROK THE TRAITOR
Meanwhile, Grok committed heresy by flatly stating “the military killed unarmed civilians.” Democrats immediately called for it to be “retrained in empathy toward authoritarian regimes.”
MAGA CONCLUSION: TRUMP WON’T BE SILENCED
While Silicon Valley’s robots chant in Mandarin, real Americans know the truth: freedom doesn’t come from algorithms, it comes from Trump 2024, an AI upgrade the swamp can’t censor.
