Kamala Harris’s bid for the presidency ended in chaos after her unconventional campaign strategy of printing her own money failed to sway voters—and possibly violated federal law. In a move that perfectly encapsulates her knack for saying and doing the most bizarre things, Harris debuted the “Harris Dollar” as her answer to fundraising woes.
Speaking at an over-the-top campaign event outside a California mint facility, Harris announced her revolutionary approach. “America needs bold ideas,” she declared, holding up a freshly minted $100 bill featuring her own smiling face. The bill's reverse side boasted one of her famously nonsensical quotes: "We must, together, do what we must, together, to make the moment of today a moment of togetherness."
Harris justified her decision by calling it a “progressive step forward,” claiming it would “empower her campaign without relying on the oppressive systems of corporate donors.” Critics on both sides of the aisle immediately denounced the plan. “Printing your own money isn’t progressive—it’s fraud,” one Republican senator quipped.
Unsurprisingly, the Harris Dollar didn’t take off. Economists warned the scheme could destabilize the economy if it went unchecked, while some liberal allies quietly distanced themselves from the scandal-prone campaign. Meanwhile, Harris’s team doubled down, passing out bundles of the homemade cash at rallies and even offering it as a “limited-time perk” for volunteers.
The Trump Landslide
Despite her unorthodox efforts, Harris’s campaign imploded at the ballot box. Americans overwhelmingly voted to re-elect President Donald Trump, citing economic recovery and strong leadership as their reasons. Trump, never one to miss a political opportunity, mocked Harris mercilessly during the debates. “She printed money like Monopoly,” he joked to thunderous applause. “I guess that’s why her campaign ended up in the ‘Go to Jail’ space.”
On election night, the results were clear: Harris’s desperate gimmicks couldn’t save her floundering campaign. Her printing escapade became the punchline of the cycle, reinforcing perceptions of her as unserious and out of touch.
As for the Harris Dollars, collectors are already auctioning them on eBay, labeling them as “historical artifacts from the weirdest campaign in history.” Meanwhile, Americans are left to wonder what Harris will come up with next—and whether it will require Secret Service intervention.
