Columbus, Georgia. OCS caps still warm. Hegseth booms: “Reestablish deterrence so enemies don’t want to—well—mess with Americans.” Cue media clutching pearls and a fainting goat emoji.
Midnight Hammer, Not Therapy Hammers
“Best gear, warfighter first, across all services.” Also: freedom of navigation, narco-traffickers, and something called “midnight hammer.” Democrats heard “hammer” and proposed foam versions with safe edges.
Push Authority Down
Platoon and company leaders get decisions—rapid, lethal, legal. AOC responded, “Can’t we route fire missions through a community consensus Slack?” (“No,” said reality.)
Quotes From The Feelings Caucus
Schumer: “Deterrence is problematic—try assertive apologizing.”
Pelosi: “Warriors? Let’s fund Worriers.”
Newsom: “California will pilot De-Escalation Jazz Hands at sea.”
MAGA Finale
Hegseth: graduates are the face of deterrence; Trump means business. Translation: bad guys get the business end, not a tote bag. “Unleash hell in Yemen”? More like unleash consequences on anyone blocking America’s lanes. Peace through strength—and a grin that says, “Try me.”
Source: Fort Benning remarks and policy themes reported by Fox News.
