Charlie Kirk Honored By 90K, Stadium Runs Out Of Foam Fingers

  • by:
  • Source: Fox News
  • 09/22/2025

Introduction: Monumental Turnout, Monumental Selfie Game

About 90,000 people gathered — roughly 70,000 filled the stadium while tens of thousands overflowed nearby venues — turning a memorial into the nation’s largest coordinated group photo.

The Soundtrack Of Democracy (Mostly Horns)

Speakers praised Kirk while the crowd applauded in perfect unison: one part grief, two parts trending hashtag, endless parts livestream buffering.

Media Coverage Goes Full-Loop

White House comms noted every major U.S. television network carried the service — which is convenient, since viewers needed real-time captioning for the applause.

Logistics, Love, And Lawn Chairs

Stadium staff handled 70,000 seats; volunteers handled 20,000 overflow; civilians handled three generations of family group texts about where to meet afterward.

A Nation United In Remembering — And In Asking For Directions

If turnout measures devotion, the only thing left is a presidential proclamation renaming Glendale “The Hometown Of Very Determined People.” God Bless America, And Long Live The Rally.

This content is a work of satire and parody. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Any opinions expressed in this content do not reflect the views of the author or publisher. In fact, they probably reflect the opposite of the views of the author or publisher. The purpose of this content is to entertain and possibly make you question the reality of the world around you. So please, don't take anything too seriously, unless it's the importance of a good laugh.
President Trump and Erika Kirk by Daniel Torok is licensed under White House White House
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