Bernie storms a Labor Day breakfast like Paul Revere with decaf: “I’m not a scientist, I’m not a doctor,” he declares—finally, something peer-reviewed. Then he warns of “a real public health crisis” unless RFK Jr. resigns.
Rally The Slogans
He quotes “Make America Healthy Again,” then insists Trump-Kennedy are doing “the opposite.” Translation: reforms at CDC = heresy against committee gospel. “Vaccines work,” Bernie adds—because shouting the obvious beats fixing the bureaucracy.
Manchester Meltdown
RFK Jr. fires CDC Director Susan Monarez after clashes over vaccine policy; Democrats faint, Republicans blink, and Bernie writes an emergency NYT diary entry. “Science is settled,” he cries, settling it with… slogans.
The Expert Who Isn’t
“I talk to scientists,” Bernie says, which is almost like being one—if talking to pilots made you an astronaut. In the Fox hit, he upgrades panic to “rally.” Batteries not included. (Fox News)
MAGA Finale
America doesn’t need another lecture; it needs results. Trump and RFK Jr. are cleaning house. Less performative outrage, more accountable health policy—because Making America Healthy Again beats making another hashtag.
