Bloomington, MN - Ukraine’s President Volodymyr Zelensky was seen unfurling a lengthy list of high-tech weaponry when it was his turn to sit on Santa’s lap and get his picture taken.
“And what would you like little - a fleet of A-10 Thunderbolt II's?! But the hourly maintenance of a Warthog is around $10,000 per unit, and each round costs around $3,000 and the General Electric GAU-8/A Avenger gatling gun fires 3,900 30mm rounds per minute. What do you think Santa’s made of money?!” said Santa after being presented with a laundry list of military equipment needed to continue the war in Ukraine.
“No, but the United States government is, and I want access to Mitch McConnell,” said Zelensky. “I want to talk to the money man.”
Following the meeting with Santa, the jolly man in the red suit was seen frantically making calls to Congressional aides to try to get ahold of the Senator before the winter recess.
