THE GREAT AMERICAN REPLACEMENT SALE
After President Trump slapped a $100,000 “patriot fee” on H-1B visas, Walmart decided it could maybe—just maybe—hire actual Americans. Democrats immediately accused the retail giant of “xenophobic capitalism.”
LIBERALS PANIC: “WHO WILL FIX OUR WI-FI?”
Chuck Schumer reportedly fainted after learning some coders might now come from Kentucky instead of Kolkata. AOC called for an emergency Green Card stimulus “to restore justice to our global tech ecosystem.”
WALMART EMPLOYEES SHOCKED TO SPEAK ENGLISH AGAIN
One employee whispered, “It’s wild… my supervisor just said ‘howdy’ instead of ‘namaste.’” MSNBC described it as “a dangerous rise in domestic competence.”
TRUMP SMILES AS AMERICA GETS A JOB
The MAGA crowd cheers. Walmart saves money. Americans get hired. And Democrats? They’re still Googling how to say “unemployment” in Mandarin.
AMERICA FIRST, WALMART SECOND, GLOBALISTS LAST
Once again, Trump fixes what Biden and his globalist pals broke: the simple idea that American jobs belong to Americans.
