San Francisco, CA - The news came from Twitter CEO Elon Musk late Friday afternoon that Hunter Biden’s laptop story was not a Russian disinformation campaign, and that the laptop did, indeed, contain icky details on the President’s son. Elon Musk confirmed in a long Twitter thread that there was a concerted effort by Twitter to suppress the story about Hunter Biden’s misadventures in Ukraine.
“Yea, we took some extra time putting the story out because we had to dust off all of the crack cocaine from the hard drive on Hunter’s laptop,” said Musk on Friday afternoon. “The laptop was just caked in cocaine, I got a contact high and I was wearing a respirator,” continued Elon in the Twitter thread.
“There were some truly awful things on that laptop,” said Musk with a thousand-yard stare in his eyes. “This would’ve made the Taliban blush. I went home and took a cold shower and cried.” The mainstream media have yet to question Joe Biden about his son’s debauchery, but one pundit assured me that they’ll get to it “as soon as we’re done burying the FTX crypto scandal story”.
