TRUMP UNLEASHES ECONOMIC FREEDOM ROCKET, MEDIA MELTS LIKE WAX FLAGS

  • by:
  • Source: NBC News
  • 07/07/2025

With jets roaring overhead and liberal tears watering the Rose Garden, Trump declared America “a rocket ship.” CNN anchor seen Googling “how to emigrate to Venezuela.”


AOC ISSUES RED ALERT: “PEOPLE MIGHT KEEP THEIR MONEY!”

Congresswoman Ocasio-Cortez slammed the bill, warning it could lead to “dangerous levels of independence and job creation.” She proposed an emergency bill to replace tax refunds with feelings.


BERNIE ATTEMPTS TO TAX THE FLYOVER

Sanders called the military flyover “unnecessary capitalist sky-noise” and tried introducing a 97% patriotism surcharge. When asked why, he shouted, “Because billionaires!”


DEMOCRATS MELT DOWN LIKE SOGGY SOLAR PANELS IN TEXAS

Nancy Pelosi called it “a dark day for income redistribution.” Gavin Newsom declared California a “Federal Tax-Free Safe Space” and banned July 4th until further notice.


TRUMP ENDS CEREMONY BY HIGH-FIVING THE CONSTITUTION

As JD Vance wiped the ink off the pen, Trump fist-bumped Mount Rushmore. “America is back, baby,” he roared. Somewhere, Elizabeth Warren is composing a strongly worded smoke signal.


This content is a work of satire and parody. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Any opinions expressed in this content do not reflect the views of the author or publisher. In fact, they probably reflect the opposite of the views of the author or publisher. The purpose of this content is to entertain and possibly make you question the reality of the world around you. So please, don't take anything too seriously, unless it's the importance of a good laugh.
President Trump by Molly Riley is licensed under White House White House
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