Trump Pauses for Allies, Pummels China — Xi Didn’t Read the Book


President Donald J. Trump just delivered a masterclass in global power plays, pausing tariffs for 75+ countries while slapping a brutal 125% tariff on China. Why? Because, as Trump said, "they don't respect us." And when you disrespect Trump, you don’t get The Art of the Deal—you get The Art of War.

Xi Jinping, the self-declared emperor of copy-paste communism, just got played like a $3 knockoff chess set. While other countries get a 90-day tariff pause to renegotiate on fair terms, Xi’s regime got a tax so steep, it might finally make them regret building their economy on theft, manipulation, and fake GDP stats.

Trump didn’t just raise tariffs—he raised the stakes, and Xi folded faster than a Chinese umbrella in a Texas hurricane. Beijing expected Trump to blink. Instead, Trump flipped the board, rewrote the rules, and left China with nothing but soybeans and a bruised ego.

Markets rallied, allies praised him, and Xi was left muttering something about "cooperation" while his Politburo scrambled to find a plan B... or any plan at all.

This is The Art of the Deal meets The Art of War. Trump negotiated peace with friends and sent a financial missile to his adversaries.

Xi brought a playbook.
Trump brought results.

This content is a work of satire and parody. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Any opinions expressed in this content do not reflect the views of the author or publisher. In fact, they probably reflect the opposite of the views of the author or publisher. The purpose of this content is to entertain and possibly make you question the reality of the world around you. So please, don't take anything too seriously, unless it's the importance of a good laugh.
President Trump Travels to Texas by shealah_craighead is licensed under Flicr
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