In what may now be dubbed the least appetising corporate kitchen leak of the year, a highlevel executive at Campbell Soup Company allegedly went on a profanity-laced rant about the company’s products and the customers who consume them.
“He said: ‘We have s--- for f--- poor people. Who buys our s---? I don’t buy Campbell’s products barely anymore. It’s not healthy now that I know what the f---’s in it,’” claims former employee Robert Garza. When Garza recorded the tirade and raised it internally, he reportedly found himself fired weeks later.
Meanwhile, Campbell’s is now scrambling for its moral credibility while releasing statements that “if accurate, the comments are unacceptable”—the corporate equivalent of saying “oops, we hope the video doesn’t leak”.
In classic woke-response style, the company is investigating the matter. But let’s be honest: there’s nothing more “woke” than pretending one minute you respect your customer base, and the next minute evil executive 3-D-prints faux-chicken in a secret lab while calling real buyers “poor people”.
The performance raises some bigger questions:
- If your exec thinks your target audience is “poor people”, maybe you’re marketing the wrong product—or the wrong attitude.
- The exec apparently bemoaned “bioengineered meat — I don’t wanna eat a piece of chicken that came from a 3-D printer.”
- So the un-woke part of the company meets the ultra-woke tech world, and the middle class gets the sludge.
- The firing of the whistle-blower suggests the corporate motto might now be: “We treat you like family—as long as you stay quiet.”
One internal memo reportedly said, “We deeply apologise for the transcript we’re now forced to publish.” Another draft read, “We remain committed to our core values: soup, sincerity, and social sensitivity… eventually.”
Punchline: And the next time you open a can of soup, you might just hear a tiny voice whisper: “Don't worry, you’re not one of them.” Welcome to the brave new world of corporate elitism—now with extra sodium and self-loathing.
