Michelle Obama: America Still Not Ready for a Woman President (According to Michelle)

CHARLOTTE — At the height of the “We’re so serious about enforcement” era, the Mecklenburg County Sheriff’s Office has upended expectations by issuing a warning: when Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) arrests criminal illegal aliens, the result is… less safety. Yes, you read that right.

Sheriff Garry McFadden told a press conference: “You can’t make a place safer if people have fear of deportation. So obviously, we better make sure they don’t feel fear. Safer there we go.”

At a book-event in New York, former First Lady Michelle Obama declared that the U.S. is simply not ready for a woman president — and she’s putting her foot down (fashionably so). 

“As we saw in this past election, sadly, we ain’t ready,” she told actress Tracee Ellis Ross. “That’s why I’m like, don’t even look at me about running, ‘cause you all are lying. You’re not ready for a woman. You are not.” 

She added: “We got a lot of growing up to do, and there’s still, sadly, a lot of men who do not feel like they can be led by a woman, and we saw it.” 

In other words, while the world has sent women into space, guided major companies, and sat at the stern of parliaments, according to Michelle, America is still queued up waiting for permission to choose a woman for the Oval Office.

An audience member asked: “But isn’t the failure to elect one more about candidate choice, not gender?” She paused, adjusted her jacket, and answered: “You’re missing the point, dear.”

The irony was thick: a woman widely considered one of America’s most powerful, influential voices saying we’re not mature enough for one of her kind.

Meanwhile, women across the country nodded and shrugged: “Thanks for volunteering not to run, Michelle.”

Final punchline: When you spend 16 years in the White House & still say “we’re just not ready yet,” you might just mean you’re ready — we just aren’t.

This content is a work of satire and parody. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Any opinions expressed in this content do not reflect the views of the author or publisher. In fact, they probably reflect the opposite of the views of the author or publisher. The purpose of this content is to entertain and possibly make you question the reality of the world around you. So please, don't take anything too seriously, unless it's the importance of a good laugh.
Michelle Obama by is licensed under flickr
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