Cedar Rapids, IA - Great news kids! President Joe Biden is going on a cross-country anti-bullying campaign after one of his drones was harassed out of the sky over Ukraine. “Hi kids, I’ve been told that there’s a little bit of bullying going on at this school, and I think that’s a load of malarkey”, said the president to a group of disinterested middle school students.
“Well, I know a thing or two about bullying,” continued Biden. “You see, mean old Putin bullied one of my attack drones out of the sky last week, and that really uh, it um, it really hurt my feelings,” said Biden as he trailed off and thought about his own middle school bully as he stared into the bored audience.
“They uh, they used to stuff me in my locker before lunch, and then I wouldn’t get any bread sticks and um, that really… that really made me feel, uh, Russia must be defeated, they’re a threat to Democracy people!” said Biden as he finished his remarks and was hurried away from the school cafeteria.
“Sometimes we have to cut speeches short before he reverts back to being a teenager,” said an aide to the president. “Last week we made a speech at the local DMV and Biden tried to re-take his driver’s test,” said the aide as they hurried the president to his motorcade.
