Washington, DC - In a lengthy, drug-fueled social media post, Hunter Biden specified that he had used the Holiday Season to reflect on his past actions, and made a promise to his followers that he was “putting in the work” and that he would make a concerted effort to no longer film his numerous felonies in 2023.
“I’ve just been doing a lot of thinking man, and I know that my past actions have hurt my dad and left a stain on his presidency,” said Biden on Twitter. “I’m going to hold myself accountable by not actively filming my affairs with spies disguised as prostitutes in the coming new year.”
Political pundits were rightfully dubious of Hunter’s promise, noting that in the video he attached to the Tweet that he had accidentally filmed a crack pipe in the background of the social media post. “You know, new year, new me,” continued Biden. “This is certainly not going to be the year of sobriety, but I promise I’ll keep it hidden better in 2023.”
