THE TRUCE THAT LASTED UNTIL CHINA WOKE UP
After a photo-op handshake and 37 PowerPoints on “global cooperation,” Beijing decided it was done pretending. Washington called it “economic coercion.” China called it “Tuesday.”
THE ART OF THE DECOUPLE
Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent thundered that the U.S. “must decouple.” Analysts confirmed America can do that right after finding someone else to process 90% of rare earths — which should take roughly until 2089.
SUPPLY CHAINS AND FAIRY TALES
USTR Jamieson Greer insisted China’s export controls “can’t be implemented.” Experts noted that’s exactly what D.C. said about border control — and look how that turned out.
GLOBALISTS STUNNED AS REALITY LOADS
After decades of “interdependence,” the Biden team discovered dependence feels bad when the other side stops pretending. Sources say the administration plans a bold response: another meeting.
MAKE MINES GREAT AGAIN
As panic spreads, one brave group remains calm — U.S. miners dusting off hard hats. “We’ll dig again,” one said, “right after D.C. stops worshipping windmills made in China.”
