Biden's Bold Strategy: Winning the Election by Inviting Aliens... the Illegal Kind


In a move that has left many scratching their heads and others rolling on the floor laughing (or crying), President Joe Biden has unveiled his secret weapon for securing victory in the upcoming election: inviting aliens... and not the extraterrestrial kind.

After a series of disappointing poll numbers and a political climate hotter than a Texas summer, Biden and his team have come to the brilliant conclusion that the only way to clinch the win is to bypass traditional voters altogether and tap into a demographic that, until now, has been largely untapped: illegal aliens.

"It's genius, really," remarked one anonymous White House aide, stifling a giggle. "Why bother trying to win over American citizens when you can just import your own voters?"

The plan, codenamed "Operation Alien Ballot," involves a multi-pronged approach to not only encourage illegal immigrants to cross the border but also to fast-track their citizenship and voter registration processes. Some of the key components include:

  1. Border BBQs: Instead of the usual border patrols and security measures, the administration will now host regular barbecues and fiestas along the southern border. "Who needs a wall when you've got tacos and tequila?" quipped Biden at a recent press conference.

  2. Citizenship Express Lane: Forget waiting years for citizenship. Under Biden's plan, illegal immigrants will be fast-tracked through the citizenship process faster than you can say "Si, se puede!"

  3. Voter Registration on Arrival: Upon crossing the border, immigrants will be greeted with voter registration forms and a complimentary "I Voted" sticker. "Why waste time?" Biden mused. "They're already here, might as well get 'em registered!"

Unsurprisingly, the plan has drawn sharp criticism from Republicans and even some moderate Democrats. "This is blatant voter manipulation," cried one GOP lawmaker. "It's like a bad episode of 'The Twilight Zone,' only instead of aliens taking over the planet, it's politicians!"

But Biden remains undeterred, confident that his unorthodox strategy will lead him to victory once again. "We're not just thinking outside the box," he declared, a twinkle in his eye. "We're thinking outside the galaxy!"

As the election season heats up, one thing is for certain: with Biden's alien allies by his side, anything is possible. So buckle up, America. It's gonna be a wild ride.

This content is a work of satire and parody. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Any opinions expressed in this content do not reflect the views of the author or publisher. In fact, they probably reflect the opposite of the views of the author or publisher. The purpose of this content is to entertain and possibly make you question the reality of the world around you. So please, don't take anything too seriously, unless it's the importance of a good laugh.
white and black labeled pack by Jon Tyson is licensed under Unsplash

Get latest news delivered daily!

We will send you breaking news right to your inbox

© 2024