Trump Unleashes Comedy Armageddon
At a White House press conference, Trump diagnosed late-night as “stage four terminal boring,” before casually tossing Fallon and Kimmel into the Colbert Canceled Club.
Talent Search: Random Guy Edition
“I could pick someone from outside selling pretzels and they’d get higher ratings,” Trump said, apparently ready to turn Pennsylvania Avenue into Hollywood Boulevard.
Late-Night Apocalypse Now
Kimmel reportedly began rehearsing monologues in his bathroom mirror; Fallon was last seen panic-buying a karaoke machine from Craigslist.
Make Late Night Great Again
Trump suggested a bold replacement lineup: “Three random plumbers, a MAGA hat, and maybe Kid Rock.”
MAGA Mic Drop
As Trump left, sources claim the podium whispered, “America just got its sense of humor back.”
