WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump sparked panic among insurance industry lobbyists Saturday by proposing the radical concept of giving Americans money directly instead of routing it through insurance companies first, a move that threatens the sacred Washington tradition of using as many middlemen as possible.
In a Truth Social post, Trump outlined his dangerous plan to eliminate the current system where hundreds of billions of taxpayer dollars flow to insurance companies who then generously provide healthcare that costs more than it did before they got involved. "Take from the BIG, BAD Insurance Companies, give it to the people," Trump wrote, apparently unaware that letting citizens make their own decisions violates fundamental principles of progressive governance.
Congressional Democrats immediately denounced the proposal as "giving people too much freedom" and warned that without government-mandated insurance plans, Americans might accidentally purchase healthcare they actually want at prices they can afford. "This is exactly the kind of dangerous thinking that could lead to people having choices," said a fictional Chuck Schumer while meeting with insurance industry donors. "What's next, letting them decide what kind of car to buy without government-approved dealerships?"
At publishing time, the Congressional Budget Office announced they couldn't score Trump's plan because their calculators don't have a button for "money that doesn't pass through government-connected corporations first."
