KEYBOARD COURAGE HITS A BRICK WALL
Robert Herrera, part-time radical, full-time fool, reportedly fired off some spicy Facebook threats thinking Zuckerberg's algorithm would protect him like a digital invisibility cloak. When federal agents showed up, Herrera asked if this was about his Wordle streak.
“I WON’T MISS” — AND YET, HE DID
In a truly bold move, Herrera commented “I won’t miss” under a photo of the 2024 assassination attempt on Trump — because nothing says “I’m a genius” like confessing intent on a public news thread between minion memes and Aunt Carol's casserole photos.
ASSAULT RIFLE PIC? WHAT COULD GO WRONG?
Doubling down on brilliance, Herrera reportedly posted an assault rifle and loaded mags in the comments — instantly qualifying for the FBI’s “Fastest Path to a Federal Cell” loyalty program. Agents gave him 10/10 for enthusiasm, 0/10 for stealth.
TRUMP SURVIVES AGAIN — AND SO DOES THE COMEDY
Despite the threat, Trump visited Texas, met flood victims, and reminded the nation that while natural disasters strike unexpectedly, progressive death threats are as predictable as kale at a Bernie fundraiser.
MAGA STRIKES BACK: MAKE ARRESTS GREAT AGAIN
Herrera now has front-row seats to the inside of a holding cell — proving once again that threatening Trump gets you nowhere except a government-provided jumpsuit. Meanwhile, Trump continues campaigning with more energy than a solar-powered AOC windmill farm in a hurricane.
