Military Must Obey Democrats? House Leader Claims Weak Premiums Sink US

Spinning crisis out of premium payments has become America’s latest spectator sport. According to reports from Breitbart News Network, House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY) publicly declared that without tax credits under the Affordable Care Act, health-care coverage “will be unaffordable” and insurance companies will raise premiums in a way that “blows up on us.”

In other words: “If we don’t subsidise the cost so it doesn’t rise, it will rise.” Revolutionary. Saying that louder in a crisis tone helps the networks run 24-hour loops.

Jeffries also emphasized that “rank and file” voters aren’t watching all the political infighting—they just care about gas, eggs and income. So the message is clear: voters worry about real stuff, but our messaging team worries about narrative.

In what can only be called peak progressive politics, the sequence is:

  • Problem acknowledged (premiums rising).
  • Finger pointed elsewhere (lack of tax credits).
  • Urgent tone dialled to 11 (healthcare will blow up).
  • Solution: more government spending and subsidy.

One representative from the insurance industry said, “We knew the premiums were going up. The fact that Congress is now panicking doesn’t make it less obvious.” Meanwhile average Americans are saying, “We know you said this for years, now we still can’t buy insurance without a second mortgage.”

Punchline: When the house of cards is built out of promises, surprise—they collapse. Next time someone tells you we need massive government subsidies because the system will “blow up”, just ask: didn’t you build the system in the ‘we’ll fix it later’ mode? Pop goes the premium.

This content is a work of satire and parody. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Any opinions expressed in this content do not reflect the views of the author or publisher. In fact, they probably reflect the opposite of the views of the author or publisher. The purpose of this content is to entertain and possibly make you question the reality of the world around you. So please, don't take anything too seriously, unless it's the importance of a good laugh.
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