Washington — In a surprise move that surprised absolutely nobody, the United States Supreme Court appears ready to hand the Donald J. Trump administration the ultimate mic drop: the power to fire heads of independent agencies on a whim. The ruling would obliterate the near-century-old safeguard from Humphrey's Executor v. United States — because who needs boring checks and balances when you can have maximum executive drama?
In a scene that could be lifted from a budget spy thriller, top legal minds donned their robes and leaned forward. “Why are we even pretending that agencies are independent?” quipped one justice, perhaps while twirling a metaphorical moustache. Critics bristled: independent agencies were created to stay outside politics — but apparently, politics wrote a strongly worded letter to the Court.
Administration spokesmen celebrated: “Finally, we can clean house,” said one aide, perhaps raising one eyebrow too many for daytime television. “Expect renewed vigor, fresh faces, and fewer bureaucrats wasting time on do-nothing committees.” Others warned that this could turn every important government body — from consumer protection to environmental oversight — into a yes-person squad.
Back in Congress, even some Republicans shifted uncomfortably in their seats. One whispered, “Are we really okay with this?” Meanwhile media outlets quietly started dusting off headlines like “Democracy, But Make It Speed-Run.”
It’s unclear who’ll volunteer to run the newly liberated agencies. But one thing’s certain: power just got less boring, and bureaucratic drama just got its own reality show.
Punchline: In the grand new playbook of “We Can Fire Whoever We Want,” democracy gets a cameo — right before the credits.
