The assignment came down from on high for Vice propagandist Daisy Jones — author of such serious works such as
Glastonbury’s Queer Club Was a Wild and Sweaty Fever Dream and
Queer Women Told Us What Gave Them the ‘Ick’ — to smear milk drinkers as part of the ongoing quest to force-feed lab meat and almond milk to the peasantry.
This is what she came up with, via Vice:
I was at Glastonbury last month, waiting for Diana Ross, when I spotted a grown man queuing up for somewhere called The Milk Stand. He propped his elbow against the bar, rubbed his goatee and went, “Just a carton of milk for me please, mate.” It was 28 degrees outside. And just as the opening chords of “I’m Coming Out” begun, I could see him out the corner of my eye, guzzling milk, little streams of white liquid cascading down his chin. And I thought: ‘Sorry? Are you okay?
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