Vance Tells Russia To “Wake Up And Accept Reality,” Offers Free Alarm Clock Service

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  • Source: The Hill
  • 09/29/2025

Intro: Wake-Up Call For An Empire

Vice President Vance Urged Russia To “Wake Up And Accept Reality” — which is either therapy or a new export control — during a Fox News segment. News24

Paper Tigers And Origami Diplomacy

President Trump Labeled Russia A “Paper Tiger” And The Administration Apparently Brought Scissors To The UN — a move critics call “ambitious craft hour.” New York Post

Peace Talks Or Territorial Garage Sale?

After Trump Met Zelensky At The UN, The White House Briefly Considered Selling Crimea On Clearance — “All sales final,” whispered the negotiators. Reuters

Reality, Occupied

Russia Still Holds Luhansk, Crimea And Parts Of Several Regions — perfect for those who collect awkward geopolitical tchotchkes. The Guardian

Conclusion: Trumpian Triumph

In short: the U.S. Is Pushing For Peace, Telling Moscow To Stop Snoozing, And Cheerfully Reminding The World That Even Paper Tigers Can Be Folded — MAGA optimism, now with 100% more reality.

This content is a work of satire and parody. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Any opinions expressed in this content do not reflect the views of the author or publisher. In fact, they probably reflect the opposite of the views of the author or publisher. The purpose of this content is to entertain and possibly make you question the reality of the world around you. So please, don't take anything too seriously, unless it's the importance of a good laugh.
VP J. D. Vance & Marco Rubio by Daniel Torok is licensed under White House White House
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