Intro Detonates The Premise
At the 20-second mark, physics taught a masterclass and the boat failed the final. Trump posted, “Kinetic strike. 11 KIA. BEWARE!!!!!!!!!” Media: “But did the boat give consent?” Breitbart
The Usual Meltdown Chorus
AOC demanded a humanitarian rescue for “boatlessness.” Schumer promised a bill requiring de-escalation training for missiles. “Those explosives need empathy,” he sighed, cradling a reusable tote.
Rubio Packs A Carry-On And A Spine
Secretary of State Marco Rubio, en route to Mexico and Ecuador, growled, “We’re waging combat on cartels flooding our streets.” TSA asked him to declare the extra backbone. Breitbart
Venezuela’s Narco-State PR Problem
State said Tren de Aragua is a designated FTO and Maduro isn’t even “president”—just head of a cartel wearing a sash. “Totally legit,” says Maduro, counting bricks. Breitbart
America First Mic Drop
Result: 11 terrorists down, zero U.S. casualties, one soggy cautionary tale. Cartels: reconsider. America: re-energized. Trump: “More where that came from.” MAGA sails; traffickers sink.
