TRUMP DROPS CENSUS BOMBSHELL
From Truth Social, Trump declared the census will only count actual Americans, ending decades of Democrat math where “1 migrant = 3 electoral votes.”
DEMOCRATS SCREAM ‘UNCONSTITUTIONAL!’
Nancy Pelosi warned this would “destroy democracy,” which apparently means lowering California’s congressional seats from 852 to a modest 49.
LIBERAL MEDIA GOES FULL APOCALYPSE
CNN analysts predicted mass chaos, with anchor Don Lemon sobbing, “Without illegals, who will mow my lawn of equality?”
AOC DEMANDS UNICORN-CENSUS REPLACEMENT
AOC proposed replacing the census with “empathy vibes” measured in sustainable unicorn glitter, because “math is colonialism.”
MAGA AMERICA COUNTS AGAIN
Trump ended with: “If you love this country, you count. If you snuck in, you don’t.” Somewhere, the Founding Fathers just high-fived.
