Beijing rolled out thousands of troops and three Bond villains; Trump rolled out a Truth Social mic drop, wishing Xi a great day and telling the trio to enjoy “conspiring against the USA.” Comedy writes itself.
Parade Of Besties
Seventy-minute flex down Tiananmen: hypersonic confetti, synchronized goose-steps, and “unprecedentedly high” bromance levels. “It’s not an axis, it’s a vibes-based study group,” Xi “explained.”
Truth Social Fireworks
Trump: remember the massive American blood shed helping free China—then please pass warm regards to Vlad and Kim as you “conspire.” Blue-checks shriek; Pelosi drafts the Select Committee On Mean Posts.
Kim’s Comeback Tour
First Beijing trip since 2019, arriving by “moving fortress.” Putin offers a limo. “Do you have child-lock for ballistic buttons?” Kim “asks,” adjusting his parade grin.
America First Mic Drop
While they parade, we produce; while they preen, we tariff. They get a photo-op; America gets a spine. MAGA laughs last.
