TRUMP SLAMS DOOR ON EUROPE’S BOOT OBSESSION
Asked if Americans would defend Ukraine’s border, Trump laughed: “You have my assurance.” Translation: no boots, no laces, not even Crocs. Democrats immediately wept into their soy lattes.
EUROPEAN LEADERS CRY FOR SHOE RENTAL
Macron allegedly begged, “Please, just one American shoelace.” Merkel’s ghost whispered, “We should have bought Skechers.”
DEMOCRATS PANIC OVER LOST WAR PROFITS
Pelosi fumed: “Without boots on the ground, how will my stock portfolio grow?” Bernie demanded a 100% “Boot Tax” to fund free sandals for all.
GLOBALISTS TRIGGERED BY FOOT FREEDOM
CNN whined that peace without U.S. boots is “dangerous.” AOC proposed banning boots entirely, replacing them with “sustainable unicorn hoofprints.”
TRUMP TRIUMPHANT: AMERICA FIRST, BOOTS LAST
Bottom line: Trump keeps U.S. feet safe at home. No endless wars, no globalist shoe circus—just America First, baby. MAGA means our soles stay clean.
