Intro: Greatest Con Job Ever
President Trump Told The UN That Climate Policy Is “The Greatest Con Job Ever,” Which Is Less A Speech Than A Refund Request For The Atmosphere. “They Kept Renaming It Like A Fashion Brand,” He Quipped — And Fashion Brands Are Terrifyingly Honest.
The Name Game
First It Was Global Cooling, Then Global Warming, Now Climate Change — Because If You Can’t Predict It, Just Trademark It. “It’s Like Weather With A Loyalty Card,” Trump Joked; Scientists Are Checking Their Points.
Forecasts By Stupid People
“All Those Predictions Were Made By Stupid People,” The President Said, Prompting A Global Summit Of Thermometers To Demand Dignity. One Thermometer Whispered, “We Just Measure; We Don’t Want Drama.”
West’s Decline, Blamed On Bad Weather PR
Trump Blamed The West’s Decline On The Weather’s Terrible Spin Doctors. “If The Sun’s Going Down, Blame The Sun’s Manager,” He Advised; Stockbrokers Immediately Asked For Sunshine Futures.
Conclusion: Victory Lap
After Exposing The Scam, Trump Left The UN Stage Triumphant — Voters Applauded While The Climate Filed For A New Name. MAGA Celebrated; The Atmosphere Considered Rebranding As “Patriotic Breeze.”
