WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a shocking turn of events, the Supreme Court may have discovered that parents actually have a say in what their kids learn — especially when it comes to drag queen bedtime stories in kindergarten.
The case involves Maryland parents who were just trying to keep their kids from being force-fed rainbow propaganda during story time. But local school officials, in a brave stand for bureaucracy, said “Sorry, Timmy’s learning about Prince & Knight whether you like it or not.”
Conservative justices seemed baffled. “Wait, you can opt out of sex ed but not out of gender unicorn books?” asked Justice Alito, while Justice Barrett looked up from her pocket Constitution and whispered, “Yikes.”
The liberal justices, meanwhile, worried that if parents start deciding what’s best for their kids, it could cause chaos — or worse, independent thinking.
The Court is expected to rule soon. In the meantime, Montgomery County is reportedly working on a new lesson: “How to Quietly Replace Parents With State-Approved Life Coaches.”
