Schumer’s Shutdown Meltdown: Trump Turns Off The Money Hose, Democrats Lose Their Lunch

  • by:
  • Source: Zero Hedge
  • 10/02/2025

Capitol Hill Goes Cold Turkey

At 12:01 a.m., the government shut down — 750,000 federal workers furloughed, “essential” staff working without pay, and Democrats suddenly realizing that “infrastructure money for New York” isn’t a constitutional right. Chuck Schumer reportedly screamed, “This is an attack on democracy!” while clutching an expired MetroCard.

WIC Panic And Unicorn Subsidies

Russ Vought warned WIC funding was drying up. “Moms, babies, and my pet unicorn will suffer!” wailed AOC, proposing a “Compassion Coin” minted from recycled protest signs to fund benefits.

The Art Of The Non-Deal

Democrats demanded Obamacare subsidies for illegals. Trump responded by tweeting, “Deals are for winners. You lost.” Polymarket bettors gave the shutdown two weeks; Vegas gave it three before Schumer cries uncle.

MAGA Triumph As Bureaucrats Sweat

Trump smiled: “A lot of good can come from shutdowns.” Translation: goodbye swamp creatures, hello lean government. Democrats wanted $1.5 trillion. Instead, they got the world’s biggest pink slip — and Trump got another win.

This content is a work of satire and parody. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Any opinions expressed in this content do not reflect the views of the author or publisher. In fact, they probably reflect the opposite of the views of the author or publisher. The purpose of this content is to entertain and possibly make you question the reality of the world around you. So please, don't take anything too seriously, unless it's the importance of a good laugh.
Senator Chuck Schumer by is licensed under
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