GROUND‑SHAKING NEWS
"Putin And Trump Have An Upcoming Summit" sounds like the plot of Extreme Diplomacy: Camel Edition! According to Kremlin flak Yuri Ushakov, the world‑shattering summit is “in the coming days”, without a date or actual place—but don’t worry, stock markets already treated it like a Game Day win.
VENUE DRAMA
They’ve agreed in principle, but the venue remains a mystery—possibly the UAE, because nothing says “global peace” like neon malls and camel‑milk lattes. Meanwhile, investors are acting like the S&P just hugged a gold bar.
MARKET MAYHEM
On the news, the MOEX index soared 5%, and the rouble nearly muscle‑flexed its way to a win against the dollar and yuan. Apparently, optimism is now measured in ruble strength and random summit rumors.
ZELENSKIY LEFT ON THE DOORSTEP
There’s talk of a trilateral meeting with Zelenskiy—though Moscow “completely didn’t comment.” Trump says maybe, maybe not. Ukraine is waving its arms, but so far has been politely—and firmly—invited to bring its own chair to the table.
AMERICA FIRST… FOR NOW
In true Trump style, there’s a looming sanctions ultimatum—either Putin ends the war or faces a tariff rainstorm. It’s diplomacy with a clock, a cash reward, and absolutely no details. Stay tuned, because peace might arrive… or at least the meeting will, someday, somewhere, maybe.
