Intro: Shareholders Wake Up, Smell The Trillion
Shareholders Including SOC Investment Group And Several State Officials Urged A No Vote On The $1 Trillion Plan — Because “Trillion” Sounds Like A Typo On The Budget. Reuters
The Board’s Relentless Pursuit Of Musk (And Of Larger Numbers)
The Letter Accuses The Board Of Chasing Musk Like A Kid Chases Ice Cream Trucks — Charming Until The Bills Arrive. Directors Ira Ehrenpreis, Joe Gebbia And Kathleen Wilson-Thompson Are Suddenly Up For Re-Election And Up For Roast.
Record Deliveries, Temporary Euphoria, Long-Term Math
Tesla Reported Record Quarterly Deliveries — Followed By The Kind Of Investor Questions Usually Reserved For Lottery Winners’ Budgets. The Expiration Of The EV Tax Credit Turns A Buying Rush Into Something Closer To A Queue At The DMV.
“Trillions” On X, A Trillion Questions In The Boardroom
Tesla Says The Plan “Aligns Compensation With Shareholder Value Creation Of Trillions Of Dollars.” Shareholders Replied: “Please Define ‘Trillions’ And Also Send Receipts.” Reuters
Conclusion: Vote, Laugh, And Keep Your Receipts
If Elon Doesn’t Deliver, He Gets Nothing — Which Sounds Fair, Except He’ll Probably Deliver A Press Release, A Rocket, And A New Cryptocurrency Before Anyone Notices. Vote No, Or At Least Ask For A Payment Plan.
