Comey Admits He Expected To Work For President Hillary, Shocked To Learn Elections Still Count Votes

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Newly released emails reveal that former FBI Director James Comey was so confident Hillary Clinton would win the 2016 election that he began informally onboarding himself to her imaginary administration.

In a November 2016 message to an aide, Comey wrote, “Who knew this would be so fun,” referring to a coordinated effort to anonymously guide The New York Times through the Clinton email narrative. 

Sources confirmed he had already drafted plans for “Day One of the Comey Era of Integrity,” tentatively scheduled for November 9, 2016 — contingent on voters cooperating.

Federal prosecutors say Comey was “continually updated” on the bureau’s secret media efforts and that he fully expected a congratulatory call from President-elect Clinton that never came. 

Witnesses report he instead received multiple robocalls about extended car warranties.

At publishing time, Comey was reportedly refreshing his inbox, convinced Hillary’s “you’re hired” email had just been delayed by Russian interference.


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