INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY (AND MAYHEM)
Hohn spent years funneling cash through his “Children’s Investment Fund Foundation,” which critics say was less about children and more about keeping AOC’s hair gel budget fully stocked. His foundation’s motto might as well have been “Make America Woke Again.”
BILLIONS FOR BUREAUCRATS
APT revealed that Hohn’s billions went to groups pushing for “complete radicalization.” Translation: he funded every activist demanding 73 genders and mandatory recycling of thoughts.
THE GLOBALIST WHO SLIPPED ON HIS OWN LOOPHOLE
Caught red-handed, Hohn now pretends to be shocked—like a cat burglar caught in his own mansion. “Who put all this foreign money in my American politics?” he probably wondered, clutching his monocle.
MAGA STRIKES BACK
Thanks to watchdogs with actual teeth, one of the global elite’s ATMs just ran out of woke cash. Trump supporters everywhere can now raise a glass of Bud Light (irony-free) to another foreign meddler hitting “refund.”
