The Mystery Meeting That Isn’t A Mystery, Except It Is
An Unusual Gathering Of Hundreds — About Eight Hundred, In Fact — Was Called, And The Pentagon Offered Exactly Zero Details, Which Is Either Brilliant Security Or Excellent Theater.
The Agenda, According To A Very Honest Whisper
Sources Say Hegseth Wants To Talk “Warrior Ethos,” Which Sounds Like A Motivational Poster Came To Life And Demanded Briefings. Officers Texted From Kabul To Kansas Asking If There’d Be Coffee.
Timing Is Everything (And Timing Is Also Suspicious)
The Meeting Lands As Trump Ramps Up Criticism Of Russia — Coincidence Or The Plot Of An Extremely Patriotic Spy Thriller? Either Way, PR Is Busy.
Homeland First, Questions Later
Officials Say The New Defense Strategy Puts Homeland Defense On Top — Translation: Bring Your Kevlar And Your Local Park Map.
Conclusion: Victory Lap (And A Hat Tip To America)
When The Curtains Close, America Wins — Because Nothing Says Readiness Like A Room Full Of Generals Who Love Their Country, Their Coffee, And A Good Pep Talk From A Secretary Who Knows How To Throw A Party. MAGA Forever, And Pass The Donuts.
