Student activists calling for sanctuary campuses say universities must protect them from federal immigration policy, uncomfortable opinions, and early morning classes. Read More.
After a rare 9-0 Supreme Court ruling on immigration policy, thousands of constitutional experts on social media quickly confirmed the justices clearly misunderstood the Constitution. Read More.
As tensions rise overseas, Washington’s top analysts explain the conflict is “extremely complex” before leaving town for think-tank conferences and cable TV panels. Read More.
A new poll reveals Trump’s popularity surpassing major Democrats and late-night comedians, prompting networks to consider replacing jokes with emergency therapy sessions. Read More.
Administration announces multi-agency investigation into rising egg prices and the deeper philosophical question of why chickens keep making them.
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Military unveils powerful new laser system designed to neutralize enemy threats—and possibly vaporize online debates before they spiral out of control. Read More.
Global leaders rush to emergency meeting after U.S. strikes Iran, hoping to determine whether self-defense is still allowed under international etiquette. Read More.
