Articles

A major conservative conference erupts into a bizarre “Conservativeity Cage Match” between two top pundits—thinkering unity into utter chaos. Read More.

Officials unveil a brand-new bureaucracy dedicated to explaining that rising prices are actually a “feeling,” not an economic reality. Read More.

In what experts are calling “an absolutely normalized response,” former President Donald Trump took to social media this week to explain that everything — and we mean everything — is caused by something he’s now inventively dubbed Deranged Satire Syndrome (DSS). Remember when satire was funny? Now it’s medically responsible for existential chaos. Read More.

In a bold move that definitely wasn’t just clicking “Block User” on the entire Caribbean, the U.S. government unveiled its newest foreign-policy initiative: the Complete Naval Blockade and Emotional Support Hotline for Sanctioned Heads of State. Read More.

Administration officials confirm the border is no longer a crisis after rebranding it with friendlier language and a new color palette. Read More.

In a stunning détente, conservative icons Candace Owens and Erika Kirk declare peace summit “productive,” proving even civil wars need PR teams. Read More.

A patriotic student paints a tribute, the school panics, and suddenly the FBI is invited to judge rock art — proving spirit truly comes before common sense. Read More.

In a historic diplomatic breakthrough, the U.S. insists Mexico settle its “water IOU,” proving trade wars are now judged by river flow charts, not economics. Read More.

Gun-rights poster boy resurfaces with pledge to dominate public life — but only if the camera’s pointed at rifles on sand. Read More.

Canadian Liberals shock the world (and conservative Twitter) by nearly winning a majority — thanks to defections from conservative lawmakers who really want unity. Read More.

New academic standards prioritize emotional resonance over measurable learning, allowing students to pass classes by simply sensing the answer. Read More.

In an effort to promote “healthy nationalism management,” the administration launches a list targeting citizens who display suspicious levels of love for America. Read More.

Republicans roll out a new health-care plan promising freedom, flexibility and a bold rejection of handouts — but maybe not of irony. Read More.

A new conservative fundraising tool pledges transparency, low fees, and no woke data profiling — even if you just want to send $5. Read More.

Tariffs wreak havoc — then the White House waves a giant checkbook and hopes nobody asks for a refund policy. Read More.