A government shutdown turns next year’s COLA from a boring bulletin into an edge-of-your-seat thriller — because why give numbers when you can give drama? (SSA expected Oct. 15; BLS furloughs may delay the inflation report). Read More.
CNBC reports Trump’s One Big Beautiful Bill revives expiring breaks and allows some costs at 100% deduction—a boon for Main Street, with IRS rules still pending. Read More.
A coalition of shareholders and state officials are asking Tesla investors to vote down the board’s plan to hand Elon Musk a $1 trillion performance package — mostly because their wallets have feelings. Read More.
A rousing Quantico speech rebrands bureaucracy as battlefield and suggests peace is the inevitable side-effect of being extremely, aggressively prepared to fight. The secretary’s rollback plan reads like a fitness memo crossed with a motivational poster. Read More.
A brief, gleeful poke at the shutdown melodrama: the president says he can “reshape” government via layoffs, Democrats cry about health credits, and America watches the bureaucracy audition for extinction. Read More.
Washington’s favorite soap opera just turned into a demolition derby as Trump and Russ Vought slam the brakes on D.C.’s gravy train, sending Democrats into full-on toddler tantrum mode over their $1.5 trillion spending spree. Read More.
Washington slapped a giant “Closed For Maintenance” sign on the federal maze, and the press called it apocalypse. Flights might crawl, science is paused, and Chuck Schumer’s piggy bank just found the Arctic. Read More.
A brisk, deadpan look at how YouTube’s $24.5 million settlement turned into the fanciest apology money can buy — complete with ballroom plans and humblebrags. Read More.
A brisk, headline-ready takedown of Moscow’s morning routine, courtesy of Vice President JD Vance and a president who thinks “paper tiger” doubles as foreign-policy jargon. Read More.
Pete Hegseth quietly ordered hundreds of top officers to Virginia for a meeting nobody will summarize — which, per tradition, guarantees the internet will invent 12 theories and three coup d’état musicals. Read More.
A breathtaking rhetorical 180, as Trump tells Ukraine to “act now” because Russia has “big economic trouble,” prompting world leaders to check their calendars for plot twists.
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A UN mic-drop moment where President Trump — baffled and amused — explains to NATO that buying Russian energy is like tipping the arsonist while asking them to put out the fire. Read More.
A Presidential exposé reveals that climate policy is apparently a decades-long illusion, prompting meteorologists to form an official apology choir and liberals to start knitting emergency sweaters for the economy. Read More.
A presidential roast of the United Nations’ alleged travel-voucher program for border sightseeing, delivered like a man who found a rogue Kickstarter for civilization and is furious about the shipping fees. Read More.
Trump’s “Make America Healthy Again” commission has finally solved autism: it’s Tylenol. Democrats insist it’s still climate change, systemic racism, or too much freedom. Read More.
